Cul-de-sac

For the past couple of weeks, I have experienced lots of stress and frustration. The reason is: I feel stuck and, this is no new feeling. I have actually been feeling that way  for the past three years. So this is something I am familiar with, except that it has become unbearable lately because I’m starting to doubt myself.

My frustration stems from my inability to secure a job. It just seems like things are “blocked” for me – like my opportunities are benefitting someone else. Although I have always been successful in my studies, I never seemed able to fully transform that potential into a full-time job. Watching all my friends around me succeed and gradually building their careers is definitely not helping. Don’t get me wrong: I AM ABSOLUTELY HAPPY for them but at the same time, it leaves me wondering when will be my time.I am a human being and jealousy is a natural feeling.

While I am still a full-time graduate student, I had hoped that my first two degrees would have been enough to demonstrate my qualities and potential in the marketplace. Maybe I just have no idea how to sell or brand myself? Maybe I need to be more patient? Maybe you’re not all that special Isis and you need to face it? This frustration has become so invasive that it is starting to impact my relationship. While it is all happening in my head, my body as well is starting to feel it and this is not a good sign.

So today, more than any other days, I finally found the strength to voice my feelings – something that I still struggle with. (Mother Nature might have helped a little here) At 25, I have a bachelor and a masters’ degrees but still no job. My biological clock is starting to tick which only adds fuel to the fire. I am no longer sure whether I want to have a baby now or wait until I have secured a job. Why should I have to choose? Why can’t I simply have both? Why does it always have to be so complicated? I mean, I got to be good at something else than studying right?

Although I have received many words of encouragement from my family, friends and professors to trust the process and be more patient, I am starting to doubt that “my time will come.” And this is unacceptable as a Christian because I know God has a plan for everybody. I’m simply asking for a sign. I know I promised to be more positive and to only see the positive but it is hard. I know I am capable of doing it but right now, I just feel like I have reached a dead-end and it is quite discouraging.

I pray that God gives me the strength to keep up with my job search. I have never been the type to give up anyways. I guess this is just another lesson that life is teaching me and that I should be working harder on my patience. Alas, they don’t call it the mother of virtues for no reason. What I know for sure is that the wait has significantly humbled me.

A girl’s best friend

Ladies, ladies, ladies: raise your hand if you have way too many bags than room in your closet and, money in your bank account! ✋🏾🙋🏾 (I raised both hands) Now that that is established, let’s talk purses.👜👜

In my last post, I opened up about my obsession for bodysuits but unfortunately, it is not the only addiction that I cultivate. What would probably come first on my list is bags! I love them, I breathe and dream about them at every time of the day. It is a vice that I got from my mom and that I sadly and proudly carried on and, will pass on to my daughters because, they are simply too beautiful.

As the only girl in the family, it was only right that I inherited the singular passion for all things girlyish. My mom has always been my model and style inspiration. She has that timeless and effortless classy aura and taste that will make anybody want to know more about her. This is something that I have always hoped and worked hard on to channel, even to this day. However, if there is one thing that I definitely assimilated is her taste for bags.

I probably got my first designer bag when I was in Middle School or High School. I am not sure, it was a long time ago. Why so long though? Because my parents believed and raised us to always be grateful and worthy of anything that was given to us. My dad, a very loving but still very strict man, never refused me a thing but, made sure to instigate in me the values of merit. In other words, you can get anything in life, as long as you work hard for it and prove that you deserve it – henceforth I always excelled throughout my education. So, just as my parents started giving me more responsibilities, they introduced me to the designer world.

I bought my first bag in 2011, the Noé Louis Vuitton bag (LR) on Vestiaire Collective. That was my first experience buying a second-hand bag and I must admit I was a little bit freaked out. My sister-in-law who was using the website at the time, referred me and shared her positive experience with them, which helped me a little into trying it out. After I received my bag, I was so in love with it. I was so proud, cause I bought it with my own money for once and I loved the feeling of owning my own sh*t. 👸🏾

After that, I moved to New York and things went south. My addiction reached new highs and became severe. I discovered outlets, warehouse sales, designer sales and what I like to refer to as the devil 😱😈: Century 21, TJ Maxx and Marshalls. My collection went from Gérard Darel, Lancel and Longchamp to CélineSaint LaurentDior, Chanel, Fendi, Ferragamo, Prada and Givenchy, to name only a few. As of today, I own close to 30 designer bags, which is not negligible for someone this young. I look at them like long-term investments that I will be happy to pass down to my daughters and theirs afterwards. This is why I look forward to get a hold of my mom’s collection – even though we have an agreement that I can “borrow” an item per trip back home and, return it the next time I visit.😏

While these days I have slowed down my compulsive shopping, I still have a number of pieces in my wish lists on Vestiaire Collective, Net-à-Porter and C21. When seasonal sales hit, my taping game knows no limit: add to basket & purchase lol. (Don’t tell my husband) There are pieces that I however keep on the fantasy side and try not feed into too much, for fear of losing my mind: Constance & Kelly by Hermes, Peekaboo by Fendi and Miss Dior by Dior.😣😢 Those will only become realities when I am financially established aka I own a house and have savings secured for my kids’ future. Let’s be clear, just because I love luxury pieces, does not mean that I would forget about my priorities – my parents taught me better.

May your collection grow and your bank account flourish! 😅💵💳💰

I Am… Sasha Fierce

The month of love is here with its famous celebration, Valentine’s Day! This is even more special as we will celebrate our sixth month marriage anniversary and, our second year of dating! It is exciting and definitely one of those times where I want to surprise and spoil my man.

For the first time, I can freely unleash my Sasha Fierce and what better occasion than love season. If you know me, I outdo myself when it comes to showing and expressing my love and care when in a relationship. From time to time, I like to switch up things and make sure that we do not fall into the ‘boring couple’ category. I don’t like basic. Never have and never will. Therefore, I make sure to spice it up when necessary, sometimes just because.

So what’s the plan for V-day this year: I have no clue, as usual. lol, I just let my man handle that day. However, I surely have a few tricks up my sleeve, to make sure that I am always ready at all times. Like every woman, I absolutely love feeling and looking sexy & attractive, for myself and for my man. There is no better feeling than that look your bae gives you when you’re smoking hot! Lust and passion are definitely two necessary spices to keep a healthy and exciting relationship.

In order to properly prepare for the occasion, I went ahead to my wax lady last weekend  to handle my business and got a fresh mani-pedi. Another thing that is absolutely important is lingerie. I love it, well actually I am obsessed with lingerie. I like looking good underneath my clothes but above all, I want my man to feel like he’s unwrapping a gift every time he undresses me so I always look for the cute and inciting sets. I have a thing for boudoir lingerie and a clear obsession with lace and bodysuits. My favorite brands are L’Agent by Agent Provocateur, Fleur du Mal and of course Victoria’s Secret, to only name a few.

While lingerie plays a major role this season, I am very excited about Fifty Shades Darker. I devoured the trilogy in two weeks when it came out four years ago and was extremely pleased to see that the movie remained as faithful as possible to the books. Like last year, I managed to get advance tickets for 2/9 except this time, I will be treating bae to diner. From time to time, it is good to show him how much he is appreciated and what better occasion than NYC Restaurant Week. I look forward to it because it will give us an opportunity to take a break from New York fast life and, focus on each others.

Until then, ‘Laters, baby.’